Am I Really Ready To Buy My First Home?

I’ve got the money but not the guts.

Photo by Gustavo Zambelli on Unsplash

The moment we’ve been waiting for finally arrived yesterday. After more than 2.5 years of living in a shed on my mum’s property, my partner and I received our pre-approval to start making offers on our own home. I held my breath as I read the email, read it again because it seemed too good to be true, then frantically fumbled with my phone to call my partner.

Almost 24 hours later, and I’m still in some disbelief. I think I’m excited, but I’m also drinking my second coffee for the day because I barely slept last night. We’ve got the deposit for a house, we’ve got the official go-ahead from the bank, but there’s something important I’m currently missing; the guts.

Is it normal to get exactly what you hoped for and then start doubting everything about it?

I’m trying to be optimistic, but my mind immediately jumps to negative conclusions. What if we buy a house that’s wrong for us? What if we hesitate and miss out on our dream home? What if we spend our maximum budget and can’t buy furniture for several months? What if, what if, what if.

Everything seems both surreal and too real at the same time. We could be living in a beautiful home with a kitchen and an inside bathroom (things we haven’t had since February 2019!). But we might also be dealing with responsibilities we’ve never had before, like paying homeowner’s tax and fixing stuff when it breaks.

As usual, my partner is cool, calm, and collected. He’s the perfect blend of rational thinker and action-taker. He gets things done with just the right amount of preparation. Unlike me, who somehow over-prepares and makes rash, emotional decisions (not sure how that’s even possible). Even if I’m not quite ready to do this, he’s already there. Do I just trust that “he’s got this,” as they say?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited, too. We’ve worked hard for this. We made sacrifices that stung and postponed big things, like getting married and starting a family. We’ve been incredibly lucky to live on my mum’s property rent-free, but we did our best to make the most of that opportunity to save money. It just seems weird that after years of dreaming about something, it’s actually happening. I have an…